Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
