Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
