omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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