U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
