hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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