i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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