I didn't shave. On purpose
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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