I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
