ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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