you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
