i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
