Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
