Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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