STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
