I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
