I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
