Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
no, he came in my armpit
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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