Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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