Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
