You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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