Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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