You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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