Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
