I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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