this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
