So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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