My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
