She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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