Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
