never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize