Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
