Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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