I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize