after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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