you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
