My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Randomize
