Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
