Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
ttyl tear gas
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
