i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
