...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just googled if crying burns calories
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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