pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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