I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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