I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
