look no pants
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
only you would photoshop your dick
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
