Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
