Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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