No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he was CRYING into my vagina
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
