I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
