Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
