ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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