community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
