Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
