Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize