Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
