These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
