i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
