Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
