I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
