I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
