He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
