I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
